Cut the Shit

I Heart You

First and foremost today, I’m loving Kathy Griffin. She gave a hilarious and powerful interview last night on Larry King Live (yes, I do watch Larry King Live all the time). She answered everything honestly and made fun of celebrities (like Oprah) and politicians that most people would be too frightened to address. I was literally laughing out loud and gasping all at the same time. She basically ran the show while Larry just sat there with his mouth gaping wide open. This bitch rocks. Always and forever.

While I really couldn’t give a shit about Jessica Simpson, the commercial where she promotes High Definition TV makes me smile. She says this line “I don’t know what that means, but I want it.” Something about the way she says that line makes my heart burst with joy. Ok, I know. But sometimes a lonely boy needs these little things to make him happy.

I’m loving working at a Jewish Organization today. From December 25-January 10th, I only work 2.5 days. Um. Fantastic! We also just received our “Jewish Holiday List” for 2007 and guess how many days this gentile gets off next year? 25. TWENTY-FIVE. That’s not including the 3 weeks of sick time and 3 weeks of vacation time I get. I mean, basically I’m working for free next year. I’m not trying to rub it in your face, I’m just happy. Ok whatever; I’m totally rubbing it in your face.

Justin Timberlake…love. Nuff said.

I am loving my Celtic Women Christmas CD. It’s beautifully done and fills my subway commute with holiday cheer. I immediately relax when “Oh Holy Night” comes on and I barely notice that I’m being pressed up against the subway door by hundreds of people on the train.

Tonight is the finale for America’s Next Top Model. I’ve recently realized that Tyra Banks is a self-important idiot, but it doesn’t stop me from living and loving this show. It’s catty-licious!

Additionally…while Heroes ended on a semi-weak note this past Monday, I’m still loving their taglines. The newest one Are You On The List makes my dick jump with joy.

I’m absolutely loving my dog, Tyler. It seems that as each day goes by, I just want to love him that much more. He’s an integral part of my life now and has fully become a prominent presence in my apartment. He’s absolutely addicted to sitting on my lap and slowly (but surely!) he’s learning the English Language. I’m constantly talking to him and out of nowhere he’s truly beginning to understand what I’m saying to him. Last night I said “Tyler, go pee” and he immediately walked over to the pee pad and laid it down. Then I said “Tyler, it’s time for bed” and he ran right to the bedroom door and scratched at it. When I opened it, he rushed up and jumped in his bed. I smiled and smiled and smiled. Now if I could just get him to wash the dishes.

I’m loving Paul. We’ve been in a really good place in our relationship for awhile now, but even more than that, I’m just incredibly happy being around him. He still makes me laugh my ass off, but he’s also becoming more patient and understanding with me. Overall, he’s an absolute joy to be around. I’m also excited to have him spending the Christmas holiday with my family. A whole week together (without him having to work or study for the GMAT’s!) It’s going to be a beautiful time for the both of us and for our relationship. Our anniversary is on January 9th and it’s going to be SEVEN years! Sure, we’ve had some MAJOR ups and downs over the seven years, but I’m astonished and proud of us for getting this far. I don’t know anyone who’s been in their relationship as long as we have – even the majority of my married friends. It’s crazy and real and one of the few things in my life that I’m genuinely proud of.

See the movie Hard Candy. I can’t tell enough people about it. One of the best films I’ve seen this year.

Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce. The girl can do no wrong. The media tries to slam her because she’s basically perfect. If I play the song “Irreplaceable” one more time, my IPOD is going to explode. Then there’s the whole Dreamgirls thing. She’s one classy lady with an endless reserve of talent.

For some reason I’ve become big time obsessed with Eric Dane (above). You may know him better as Dr. McSteamy on Grey’s Anatomy. He’s so smoldering, he makes me feel funny inside. I believe that he is one of the most beautiful men to ever grace my television. Every time I see him, I want to cut myself. But cut myself with happiness.

My friend Rita and I have had so many talks over the last couple of weeks that I feel like she’s living in NYC again! Because it’s so hard to deal with the distance between us, we often go a month or two without calling. But lately, we’ve overcome that bullshit and are closer than ever. I adore every word that comes out of her mouth and I feel an intense sadness every time I hang up the phone with her. Yet, I feel stronger and more capable because of the way she relates to me. I literally feel the respect and sensitivity that she has for me and I gotta say – there’s nothing quite like having a friend that gets you on every possible level.

Yes, I still love pizza more than ever. If I don’t eat it at least 3 times a week, I feel sad. And skinny. And no one wants to feel either of those things. (shifty eyes)

My hair has been rocking hard core these days. I’m in the good phase where it’s not too short, not too long, and rests perfectly on top of my gigantic head. Having good hair is important to any self-respecting gay man. And for the next couple of days, I’ll be totally respectable.

I’ve been loving Lindsay Lohan lately. Ok, I can’t even lie about that. I actually said to Paul last Friday “Don’t think bad of me, but if I had one wish for this weekend, it would be for Lindsay Lohan to have an overdose and die.” Paul laughed, then judged me for a minute, but now that it’s 5 days later, I still wish for it. I know death and overdosing is a scary and horrible thing, but some people must either take part in it or just get the fuck out of my face. Sad thing is, I used to love her as an actress. She wasn’t like HUGELY talented, but she had great charisma. I watched Prairie Home Companion this weekend and she fucking sucked balls. I mean, when you’re up against Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin, you don’t have much of a leg to stand on, however, get your shit together and make an effort. Are you an actress or are you just boozing and snorting and wasting everything that God gave you? She just doesn’t even try to turn herself around. And that’s so sad and unforgivable.

On a lighter note, I’ve been obsessed with celery and Hidden Valley Ranch dip. I eat it by the gallons. Don’t worry, I use non-fat or low-fat sour cream. Then I cut up all this fresh celery and dip and dip and eat and dip and man. I gotta slow it up.

Of course I love Perez Hilton. I've been reading him, daily, for as long as he’s been around. However, if you want someone who’s just as good and even funnier in her commentary, check out MollyGood. She’s absolutely fantastic and finds the funniest shit to put on her site. Rarely do I read a journal or a gossip site and think “I want to be their friend”. With Molly, I not only want to be her friend, I want to be her bestest friend and make funny videos together and laugh at them.

Television Without Pity will provide you hours and hours of television recap entertainment. You should especially check out any recap by Miss Ali. She’s always correct in her television assessment and she writes things that make poop fly out of my ass. I swear that she and I are cut from the same cloth. That cloth being the Shroud of Turin.

I love you my dear and faithful readers.

But most importantly...Happy First Birthday to my darling niece Ruby! Unky Joe sends you a million kisses and hugs!

Enjoy your day!